Return of the New and Improved

I figure I'll steal a couple of precious moments away from my work day to give this journal some long-overdue loving; you've got to all be as curious as I am about what's been up with my life over the last two months, right? No? Let's see if I can't make some sense of it.

I: The Importance of Friends
With </a></b></a>mike bound for South Carolina towards the end of June, it seemed that my summer was bound for less innocent times. It's not as though he was the singular glue that held our band of brothers together, but his departure left a very apparent silhouette in our line-up. Mike was the sobering influence that kept us from engaging too mindlessly with weekends and weekends of thoughtless gaming, the guy whose monitor we could look to in the middle of a match and feel reassurance - he was doing his taxes months in advance; we, by extension, were also holding "our shit" together. After he left, my weekend visits to Connecticut dropped sharply off. We didn't pull another LAN until just a weekend or two ago, and the accommodations for that one had to be painstakingly detailed not hours, but weeks in advance. When you've got to start scheduling time off from work to overcaffeinate yourself in someone else's basement, it may be time to start slowing down. This drop-off is happening whether we want it to or not; once Kyle's out of here for greener pastures on the 24th, I don't doubt that we'll be able to put a four month-long headstone on our little tradition as the rest of us continue with "adulthood" in whatever limited, awkward way we're able.

Joyce's leaving, as well, was kind of a big deal. She has gone back to Japan in the capacity of an ALT employed in the Japanese Government's JET program. Stationed somewhere around Nagano, it really doesn't fucking matter where she's stationed - she's back in Japan. Please consult this journal's first three months' worth of entries as a reference material if you're interested in my take on the place. I postponed a road trip to Baltimore and Virginia to spend a couple of extra afternoons with her before she took off, and the time I spent with her reminded me of a life, of friends, of experiences that I used to have. Really. We went to Duet Karaoke for two nights in a row - that's all - but I hugged her cousins, we all nearly skipped out on a dinner tab and Joyce and I called Mary and Stephen while they were still together in Australia. "It all came rushing back" seems like sort of an apt phrase to use here. I've told pretty everyone about my morbid, masochistic hope that everything I've made for myself here in New York City might fall apart at any given moment, giving me a chance to run back to another life abroad; it actually doesn't look like things here are going anywhere South, though.

II: On a Star
It's strange to confront the fact that I am full-time living and working in New York City now - there is no Fall Semester coming up, no easy vacations, no forced social encounters or expanded horizons. What I do with my time now is purely my own, the clock crafted and calibrated by the choices I make when 6PM rolls around. I have been playing a lot of World of Warcraft; it feels like Spring Semester with the training wheels off. Some newfound friends - well, I've never actually met these people, but I do talk to them with my headset on while I'm playing the game and call them shit like "Lord Darkhammer" - and this collection of gear and talents are what I have to show for almost every weeknight of the last month. (Note: A lot of what you see there is, indeed, phat lewt.) I don't begrudge the game for being as immersive and addictive as it was on Day One, but can see my interest in it again beginning to taper off as the onrushing reality of adulthood knocks on the door. I'm going to have taxes and bills. New acquaintances, contacts and friends may be waiting just beyond the door I neglect to force myself outside of, but I'll not cross them unless I take that first step. Could be time to, you know, get myself out there.

Guess what, though? Did I ever tell you guys about that big, dystopian, corporate-run, underground street culture-focused and hoverboard-featuring racing/arena combat game that my company was working on in the background? You know, the one I wrote the 130 page design document for around E3 (middle of May)? Right. That game has actually been picked up by a really large software company for their next-generation console, which means that I'm going to be working - on the ground floor, mind you - on the documentation/design (narrative and level)/assistant production of a AAA game title from next month until April of next year. Like, as an integral part. This is probably the coolest fucking thing that could have happened, and it did - it is what continues to pick me up when other things (read: continued smoking, continued addiction to WoW, lack of having mixed anything groundbreaking in the last two months, general loneliness) get me down. I am lucky as hell to have any sort of hand in the business of making games at my age and with my credentials. I would convert this LiveJournal into a full-time conversation between myself and the outside on the topic of what exactly it's like to be "breaking in" to the industry, but just about everything is under NDA; there really isn't much more I can say without getting someone in trouble, so just know that sticking with my company was kind of a good thing. To think I was depressed about not getting that benefit-rich Game Analyst position at that monolithic game company down the street. Fuck that: creative process FTW!

III: Into the Future
What comes next? With whom do I re-establish connections? (Sub-questions: 1) Should I just delete all of my Maaya Sakamoto, or let it sting me every time it comes up? 2) How much more should I be answering my phone? 3) Why has my Outlook "Drafts" folder said (2) since the end of school?) Will the Obsidian Order ever venture into Molten Core, and will I still be around to care? Am I going to graduate school? Will the money situation improve? When is my imminent collaboration with S1lent K going to coalesce?

Stick around...